The sound of running water makes you jump and yell, "Outside!"
You tell your dog to sit and he backs up until he finds a chair.
It takes 3 people to get your dog on the scale at the vets.
You walk your dog and everyone knows him by name, but you have no idea who these people are.
You can carry an a conversation with a dog's muzzle firmly in your crotch.
You own a dog capable of pulling someone from a porta potty.
Your vehicle changes each time you add another mastiff to the family.
You carry a tape measure with you when shopping for a new vehicle.
You keep at least one color coordinated "drool towel" in every room of your house.
After banishing your husband, the snoring in your bedroom still keeps you awake. (But now it's
okay)
Visitors enter the house holding their privates protectively.
You toss your dog a ball and cringe when he almost hits his head on top of the doorway.
You take your dog for a ride and he rests his head on your arm, causing you to make only right turns.
You have given up on water bowls and you just use the bathtub.
You have to move over when brushing your teeth because your dog wants a drink.
You show a picture of your dogs and kids together, and the first person you point out is your dog.
You go to vacuum your car and most of the fur is up on the ceiling.
You avoid the dogs on your way out the door, so they won't smear your makeup.
The monthly dog budget exceeds your home mortgage payment.
You have had to train your dog not to lick the dishes, and the dishes are in the sink.
Your dog can see when you are cooking and he tries to assist you in the preparation.
The pizza delivery people tell you to meet them at the end of the sidewalk.
You purchase a large screen TV and can still only see half of it.
You've learned to force a smile when asked "Do you have a saddle for that thing?"
When someone knocks at the front door and a mastiff head pops through the screen to see who's there.
Visitors get up to get the towel.
